A dog's and a cat's diary
A Dog's Diary
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The garden! My favourite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
A Cat's Diary
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are crawlers and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.
It's only a matter of time .........
~(:o})=
6 Comments:
Hehehehe I love cats, they are so devious ;-)
November 04, 2006 10:54 am
haha that's the funniest thing I've read in ages. Thanks for making me smile.
Well done on the distinction too, great news. Makes it all worthwhile.
When are you off on your trip? Must be soon.
Have a great weekend.
xxxxx
November 04, 2006 11:25 am
hahaha, how true is that I always knew cats were cunning sly creatures hell bent on doing me in!
Have a happy holiday my dear gal...see you in feb, not long !!!
November 04, 2006 1:24 pm
Brilliant GOW - very funny! :O)
And I'm so pleased for you about your distinction!!!
Well done, you are clever!
Have a lovely time away...
xx
November 05, 2006 11:54 am
Ooh so much to suddenly read here.
Lovely little animal thoughts...*giggle*..
Have a stupendous time in Oz and well done for your distinction..boy do you deserve a rip roaring holiday!
Take great!
xxxx
November 05, 2006 4:46 pm
that is bloody hilarious!! it reminded me of tsuki and her antics. even more so last night, because we had company and she was put in our room away from the guests, who had allergies.
the poor love, i'd also shut her away for 4 hours - i knew i needed to check on her before i left, but the hubby said 'oh no, she's fine'. i got back, shouted all around the house and heard little miaows. i checked the dryer, checked the dishwasher (yes, she is that stupid) and then deduced that the mews were coming from the coat closet. the poor girl came shooting out, chirping and miaowing.
a mummy's instinct, eh? i knew i should have checked on her whereabouts properly before leaving the house.
November 05, 2006 8:40 pm
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